dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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