Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.