Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer

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  (802): i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer http://tfl.nu/uupu
  Replies (16) Good night (5530) Bad night (1001)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  why does the wii remote smell like your vag?

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  (512): why does the wii remote smell like your vag? http://tfl.nu/z7m2
  Replies (55) Good night (2045) Bad night (9053)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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  (608): you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?" http://tfl.nu/0sa8
  Replies (19) Good night (10792) Bad night (1249)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday

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  (706): My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday http://tfl.nu/gbim
  Replies (8) Good night (5210) Bad night (1011)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.

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  (503): This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating. http://tfl.nu/ajdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1078) Bad night (3373)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better

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  (419): I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better http://tfl.nu/bdvs
  Replies (3) Good night (2518) Bad night (668)
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  (831): View more from California

  please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom

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  (831): please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom http://tfl.nu/23l0
  Replies (10) Good night (5152) Bad night (864)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.

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  (620): You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on. http://tfl.nu/djzq
  Replies (10) Good night (3667) Bad night (878)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?

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  (727): You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you? http://tfl.nu/l34c
  Replies (31) Good night (3072) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.

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  (817): Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/nfnq
  Replies (5) Good night (489) Bad night (977)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am

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  (281): You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am http://tfl.nu/8gbq
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (882)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.

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  (860): I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't. http://tfl.nu/dn0x
  Replies (4) Good night (942) Bad night (271)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.

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  (734): My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know. http://tfl.nu/ov06
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position

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  (727): Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position http://tfl.nu/l5hj
  Replies (4) Good night (663) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY

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  (717): WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY http://tfl.nu/nywf
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (248)

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