I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.