Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life

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(818): View more from California

Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.

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(312): View more from Illinois

just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.

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(785): View more from Kansas

My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?

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(312): View more from Illinois

If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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(408): View more from California

If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical

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(631): View more from New York

That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say

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