So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
