Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet

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(571): I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet http://tfl.nu/qd88

Replies (25) Good night (4041) Bad night (620)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!

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(612): My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome! http://tfl.nu/2tqo

Replies (79) Good night (17999) Bad night (935)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.

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(717): he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three. http://tfl.nu/q18f

Replies (36) Good night (6563) Bad night (1311)
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(406): View more from Montana

I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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(406): I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money" http://tfl.nu/7mg6

Replies (13) Good night (4992) Bad night (1256)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.

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(405): Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights. http://tfl.nu/1mso

Replies (3) Good night (2824) Bad night (815)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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(270): New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it. http://tfl.nu/its0

Replies (10) Good night (1073) Bad night (2296)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.

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(423): She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21. http://tfl.nu/keb8

Replies (6) Good night (4275) Bad night (749)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...

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(705): I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender... http://tfl.nu/gykh

Replies (25) Good night (2462) Bad night (997)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'll always be here to give you immoral support.

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(678): I'll always be here to give you immoral support. http://tfl.nu/ss89

Replies (6) Good night (2828) Bad night (800)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool

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(724): at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool http://tfl.nu/z0fe

Replies (3) Good night (1222) Bad night (415)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often

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(605): We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often http://tfl.nu/nvi7

Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (429)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.

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(610): Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol. http://tfl.nu/y192

Replies (1) Good night (1475) Bad night (398)
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(406): View more from Montana

We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.

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(406): We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right. http://tfl.nu/ritk

Replies (5) Good night (1938) Bad night (297)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.

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(815): I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home. http://tfl.nu/5egk

Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (262)
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(432): View more from Texas

I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

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(432): I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too... http://tfl.nu/soax

Replies (4) Good night (592) Bad night (390)

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