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What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
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