Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags