i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
