im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
