I'm so fucking centered right now
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
