what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
