you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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