I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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