I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
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he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Vodka?
Forever.
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His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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