I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize