Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize