I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
