I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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