Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
