I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
