so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize