i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
