i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
