If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
