Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it