Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.