is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?