just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS