i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
