We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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