there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
