I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
