just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
