I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
