I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
