Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
