You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
