Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
