is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize