foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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