I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
