you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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