well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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