Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
zippers are such a cool invention
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
