You're my little dorito
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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