just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
