Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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