You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
