My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
