the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
