playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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