does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
