Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he thought i was a dude.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
