if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
