party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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