apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
