dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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