the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
