the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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