They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm too high and old for this...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
