I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
