woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
