So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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